"No, please don't strip for me tonight," said no man EVER.
I don't care if you're married, single or something in between. It doesn't matter if your butt looks more like Roseanne Barr's than Kim Kardashian's. Any woman can perform a sexy strip tease for her man to give him the show of his life!
Stripping doesn't mean pole dancing. I've taken a pole dancing class and you need to be part lemur to be able to climb a pole. Think Gypsy Rose Lee meets Madonna. It means taking off your clothes in a seductive manner with candlelight and sensual music in front of your man.
Stripping will boost your confidence and make you feel sexy.
And, after you try this, your guy may even be in favor of throwing a few dollar bills your way.
Why do you think strip clubs are so popular?
If you ever visit one you'd realize the following: the girls usually aren't such good dancers, they don't have great bodies and they aren't drop dead gorgeous. They simply have confidence — or at least, they're excellent at acting like they do.
Men pay ridiculous amounts of money to see women remove cheap nightgowns and pretend they're interested in them. It's a huge turn on for any man to think he's getting a personalized show, even if your guy is in his Hanes boxers watching a "South Park" re-run. And it can make you feel like you're hot, even if you haven't lost those 10 pounds you've been wanting to with a little help from Jenny Craig.
1. Dress the part.
Start by digging out that pink-sequined lingerie you bought on an impulse back in 2008.
I highly advise trying on the more technical stuff such as "thigh highs" in advance, since they may require a Ph.D. in lingerie engineering. I found this out the hard way when I told my man to sit back while I bolted into the bathroom to slip into something sexy. I pulled the nylons over my thighs, slipped on a black bustier with 125 hooks, attempted to clip the four dangling ribbons onto the nylons and failed to get one to stay attached. After 20 minutes of sweating, swearing and breaking a fingernail, I waltzed back in the room looking like a disheveled mess.
Consequently, I'm partial to assembling all clothing under a silky robe in advance.
Also, make sure to wear high heels.
Don't worry, stripping doesn't require much moving around. Trust me I can barely walk in gym shoes.
2. Loosen yourself up.
A little alcohol is also good to help you relax and free your inhibitions
Note the word "little." Translation: Don't get sloppy drunk because there's nothing worse than rolling your ankle, screaming obscenities and waking the kids when you're trying to be seductive.